Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone,
Well you need more than someone.
If you’re going to be make a change and make it last, you’re going to need lots of help.
But before we turn down the ‘this is too hard’ dead-end road, let’s take a step back and re-establish what’s going on.
We’ve become stuck?
Stuck with a pattern of life, a habit and a way of functioning that needs to change. Like 92% of the population at some point and in some areas we have failed to bring about the changes we committed to in our New Years Resolutions. Now we’re looking to get ourselves fully prepared to give the change we long for the biggest chance of success.
Yesterday we looked at identifying and breaking down a challenge that we face. Identifying it, owning it, understanding the serious impact that not seeing change will have in our lives and the lives of those around us. If you haven’t worked your way through these questions yet, then please do so now.
If you’ve done the questions, it’s likely you’ve tapped into a real desire for change that inspires you, and perhaps also sobers you.
So let’s get down to the next step.
What can help us?
Over the years, I’ve explored hundreds of different approaches to change. I’ve read hundreds of books, listened to podcast after podcast, studied approaches and had thousands of conversations with people who are wanting to see transformation. One of the the biggest and most consistent resistant areas to change is being able to get early momentum. The fear of not succeeding, of getting it wrong, of failing and of feeling disappointed stops many of us.
But momentum breeds movement, builds confidence, gives early ‘data’ to look back at and tweak our behaviour and actions accordingly.
The very fact that we’re wanting to change is part of the early momentum we need. We’re willing to put in the hard work, and want it to last. (And if you’ve done yesterday’s questions, it shows that you’re not just reading but you’re taking intentional steps).
So where do you have momentum?
Don’t worry if it’s not perfect. Don’t worry if you could be doing it better, or if it feels too little.
The simple question I have is where are you seeing results, however embryonic they seem.
For me it was water.
OK. Bear with me here.
I was a heffer. A big man. A fatty. Having gone from being a toned healthy man, I piled on the blubber from a lack of exercise, a stressful business and eating large quantities of crap late at night. The boy got big. All 20 stone of it.
And I tried to lose it. And I became one of the 92% each year who gave up on my New Years Resolutions.
Diets. Did them.
Lost the pounds and piled them back on.
Starvation. Did it.
Lost the pounds and piled them back on.
But the change finally started when I saw some momentum with water.
I knew water was good.
It flushed me out.
(And don’t worry this isn’t a big build up to try and sell The ‘Diet of Water.’ Buy this book and I’ll tell you how to pour and aerate the water with my Trademarked methodology, so that you too can lose 6 stone in 6 months).
The first thing I did when I woke up in the morning was drink three pints of water, I’d discover that as a result 80% of the time, I’d be much better disciplined with what I ate throughout the day.
Well initially I’d feel full, and wouldn’t go crazy on breakfast. I’d be reminded throughout the day of my goals each time I went to the toilet (which is still far too often). But most importantly, I’d feel a sense of victory each day within minutes of waking up.
Nothing like a dose of ‘evidence based – I’m nailing it’ to kick start your day.
So what’s your water?
Clearly it wont be water, because you’re probably already far more disciplined than I’ve been with food. Perhaps it’s writing a blog post first thing each day. Going for a run instead of a morning cigarette. Grabbing a delicious bloody mary without the vodka. Not checking emails till you’ve finished your most important work item.
I don’t know what it is but you probably do.
The thing that gives you that quiet hint of confidence and hope.
The place where you have seen early success.
When we enjoy something that’s good and we find it easy to replicate regularly it’s a building block to build bigger change on. Drinking water gave me the encouragement and inspiration to push into other areas of change. So much so, that each morning as part of my daily ritual I’ve a pre- written question in my journal asking me if I’ve drunk my water yet. I get that right and the others follow.
But again let’s not get carried away (although ‘The Book Of Water’ is available via this Amazon link today).
The truth is, momentum will take us so far and unless we build the other ‘helpers’ into our toolkit, we’re likely to come to slowdown and a standstill.
So what are some other helpers for us? Here’s a further 8 questions, to understand where we already have access to help and where we need to find it.
Add them to your journal from yesterday or in the comments below. And as with yesterday, please feel free to email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
1. What resources do you already have to help you?
2. What people/ relationships do you have that you can tap into?
3. What have you already worked out that you need to implement?
4. Where do you have momentum?
5. What tools/ apps do you have that will help?
6. What training have you previously received in this area that has helped?
7. What teaching would help you grow in this area going forward?
8. Who could be an accountability partner for you in this?
Great. So we’ve worked out our challenges, and we’ve established the help we have or need. Tomorrow we’re going to take some Actions.
I’d love to hear your thoughts or responses in the comments below.